How to Trust Again When Your Heart Has Been Hurt

By Eryka T. Johnson

How to trust again when your heart has been hurt is what we are addressing today. Oftentimes, situations happen that cause you to re-think your position and guard your heart.  But, if you can get an understanding and follow the simple suggestions in this article, you will trust again.

Trust can be described as a belief in someone or something. It is putting everything into what you have grown to have faith and confidence in believing that you can rely on it.  Then, here comes hurt.  And, the hope you once had quickly turns to the very reason why your heart is now aching.  You are mad, then sad, then down right heartbroken.

Why did this happen? What can I do to protect myself in the future? Why did I place all my eggs in one basket?  These may be questions that naturally come to mind. But, these are not in fact the questions that will help you deal with the situation and move pass the hurt.

So, how do you trust again when things have been said or done that have caused you to question a trust relationship? I’m so glad you asked.  Here are 3 things that you can apply today to move pass the pain and start trusting again.

Forgive the offense

Forgiveness is choosing to let go even if your emotions have not yet aligned with what you know is right to do.  This process actually frees you and keeps more hurt, anger, contempt, and bitterness from coming into your life; all of which change who you naturally are and were created to be.

To forgive, simply write down what bothered you about the situation ensuring all your feelings are exposed. Then, speak out loud that you forgive that person and/or incident and that you disassociate all future trust relationships with this one.

Settle in your heart that you will not allow the offense to keep you stuck or damage your outlook on life.  Your dreams are still obtainable yet you must make a conscious decision to continue moving forward.

Reflect on the things that caused you to trust in the first place

Being able to reflect on the good is always helpful.  When distrust comes in, it is amazing how quickly you can forget the very reasons why you had such belief in the beginning.  Because of this, you should take a moment to return back to how the trust relationship was created.

You should write down all the things that led you to this relationship – things that made you comfortable, things that made you laugh, things that made you feel alive, and things that made you believe.

This should spark something in you.  As well as, help you see that the good outweighs the bad.  Often times, you need only to be reminded of this simple fact.

Reconcile where possible

Reconciliation is giving the relationship another chance. You are more wise and discerning now and should factor this into how you approach the new relationship.

You will need to start small.  Set healthy boundaries on the relationship that will allow you to gradually build your confidence level.  Try believing in one small, simple thing and allow your trust to grow naturally from that place.

Building trust does not happen overnight nor does having confidence in a person or thing once you have been hurt.  When distrust comes in and your heart ends up broken, you may want to consider forgiving the offense, reflecting on what caused you to trust in the first place, and reconcile the relationship if possible.

Let me know how this article has helped you to see how to trust again after the hurt.

Eryka T. Johnson

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