By Eryka T. Johnson
Do you believe that building a lasting marriage relationship is something that is doable in today’s society? With divorce and domestic violence at an alarming high, society paints the picture that you should never get married. Besides, un-reconcilable differences and infidelity often lead most to dissolve their marriage and dismiss any chance for working out their problems. Well, in this article, I would like to talk about the secret that ancient women knew that could help today’s women with building a lasting marriage relationship.
Back in 2008, I got a mentor that could help me work through the issues I was bringing to my marriage relationship. This woman was like no one I had ever counseled or talked to in the past. She was one of those “tell it like it is” kind of women. From our first meeting, she made it clear that she would not be “babying” or “soothing” me. Instead, she said she would mother me. In other words, she would make sure I knew the truth which would help me to grow into the wife God desired.
This new mentor-mentee relationship was quite a painful one!
Before, you stop reading…give me a second to explain. It was painful because I had to face the truth that I often wanted to look over or direct away from. I spent so much time thinking I was the victim in my marriage relationship never really taking the time to be truthful with myself about the damage I caused.
Long story short…she gave me the secret to moving one step away from divorce court to now enjoying the man that God allowed to find me in whom I am so honored to serve every day and NIGHT!
Learn to honor your husband is the secret she shared with me. Simple? Well, although I had read the scripture about husbands loving their wives and wives honoring their husbands I still had not put it into practice. Honestly, I never used it because I really did not know what it meant in a practical sense. I did a little research and some praying and I got some very practical things to do to help in this area to building a lasting marriage relationship.
In case you did not know…men want respect. So, let me give you a few practical examples that can help. Use those that would be a good fit for your relationship:
- Praise your husband in front of the kids.
- Let your husband make decisions for the family even when you know it’s the wrong choice.
- Speak well of your husband in front of your family and friends.
- Set the atmosphere in your home so your husband does not have to deal with stress when he gets home from work.
- Find out what your husband likes and give it to him.
- Always let your husband be a man and don’t try to emasculate him.
- Support your husband with the things he wants to do.
These are just a few examples, but I have a ton of them once I started thinking about ways that I could actually be my husband’s friend rather than just his roommate.
Something magically happened…once I began to honor him in my words and actions, he literally started giving me what I needed – love and affirmation.
Today, my husband is my best friend and we think about where we came from and where we are now after being married for nearly 11 years. All I can say is God is good!
What do you do to honor your husband? Please share.
Eryka T. Johnson